it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
