Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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