I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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