can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
