I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
