i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
