I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
