Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
