I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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