I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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