fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize