uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
