We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
