I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
