I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
