I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
