forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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