He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
In America we eat man semen.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize