is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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