i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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