i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
