K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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