tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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