i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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