you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
