if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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