If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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