So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
