I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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