what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize