Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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