I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
