how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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