He told me they were just razor bumps!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
