You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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