Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
