MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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