What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
