If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
