im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
