Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
