i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
