It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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