why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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