new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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