I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
