i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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