Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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