Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
That's intense
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
