His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
