i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
