So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
