every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize