god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
