Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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