you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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