i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I am naked and annoyed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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