I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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