I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
