I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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