i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
